Martin Garrix’s Live Show Causing Global Warming
For years scientists blamed too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere as the primary cause of global warming. Recent studies have found that musician, Martin Garrix, seems to be contributing to at least 80% of trapped heat in the air.
“We kept seeing spikes in temperatures during what kids call ‘festival season'” exclaims Peter Douglas, global warming expert. “We got a grant from the United Nations and started traveling to many many of these different music festivals to see what was going on. One artist in particular scared us with what we were seeing every night. Dozens and dozens of these little canon things that just shot straight fire into the air during his performance. It just wouldn’t stop. It’s like we were staring straight at Hell and Martin Garrix was the devil.”
Over the last century, global average temperature has increased by more than 1°F (0.7°C). The 2001-2010 decade is the warmest since 1880—the earliest year for which comprehensive global temperature records were available. In fact, nine of the warmest years on record have occurred in just the last 10 years. This warming has been accompanied by a decrease in very cold days and nights and an increase in extremely hot days and warm nights. The continental United States, for example, has seen record daily highs twice as often as record daily lows from 2000 to 2009. While the record shows that some parts of the world are warming faster than others, the long-term global upward trend is unambiguous.
Of course, land and ocean temperature is only one way to measure the effects of climate change. A warming world also has the potential to change rainfall and snow patterns, increase droughts and severe storms, reduce lake ice cover, melt glaciers, increase sea levels, and change plant and animal behavior.
“It’s no wonder Mr Garrix named his hit song ‘Animals.’ He must be an animal to want to destroy the earth like this. They have to constantly spray straight carbon dioxide on to the crowd to cool them down, which in turn goes into the air and traps the heat from the flame canons! We’ve started a petition to end his appearances at these music festivals. He must be stopped!” says Peter Douglas
When we asked Martin Garrix for a comment his management had this to say. “We do not believe that our artist’s live show has done any harm to the planet. His new single is coming out soon so pre-order it on iTunes today!”
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