Do You Suffer From Local DJ Syndrome?

11 Dec , 2014  

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) today issued a warning about Local DJ Syndrome. This Level 3 travel warning is a reflection of the worsening outbreak in the United States.

CDC is rapidly increasing its ongoing efforts in the United States. CDC disease detectives and other staff are on the ground and warn you to look out for these symptoms:

  • Increased number of passive aggressive posts on Facebook about other DJs
  • Constant tweets about being ‘In The Studio”
  • Over-abuse of the “Invite All” javascript on Facebook
  • Dangerously high levels of entitlement
  • An upsurge in expecting free entry to events
  • A sudden decline in social network ‘likes’ due to websites clearing out fake accounts

“This is the biggest and most complex LDS outbreak in history. Far too many lives have been lost already,” said CDC Director Tom Frieden, M.D., M.P.H. “It will take many months, and it won’t be easy, but LDS can be stopped. We know what needs to be done. CDC is surging our response, sending 50 additional disease control experts to the region in the next 30 days.”

CDC expects its efforts not only to help bring the current outbreak under control, but to leave behind stronger systems to prevent, detect and stop LDS and other outbreaks before they spread.

“Stop expecting to headline every party.” says CDC Director Tom Frieden. “When you realize that you’ve only become a DJ two months ago will you realize that you have a long path of healing ahead of you.”


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One Response

  1. Alex Sin says:

    man fuck you! when i say im in the studio i really am in the studio which is always! except when im headlining the best of underground raves ever! your just so up on fake edm bullshit that you have to trash real talent like myself. you dumb fucks!

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