#1 Child Name of 2014 is “Wakarusa”

4 Aug , 2014  

Seen as one of the more popular music festivals in the southern United States, Wakarusa has had a giant impact on the current generation as more and more parents are naming their newborn children after the festival.

“Wakarusa changed my life.” states Kim Stefferson, recent festival attendee. “I met my boyfriend at Waka. We shared what we think were shrooms and had a magical evening. Bassnectar was playing at the time when Wakarusa was conceived. I don’t know, I just think “Wakarusa” is a beautiful name!”

Kim’s boyfriend could not be found for comment.

Wakarusa festival management thinks that the sudden surge of newborn babies named after the festival could hurt the attendance in the coming years. “We were hit hard in the recent years by storms and the sudden popularity of competing festivals. Things are already slowing down and we aren’t going to be able to charge hundreds of dollars a ticket anymore. These kids have a lot of options during festival season so we believe that we will have to cut ticket prices soon to compete. We may not be able to afford such big talent in the coming years as agents are just asking for too much money so we will be looking towards more local talent. Everyone plays the same thing anyways, right?” says Jeff Combs, talent buyer for Wakarusa.

“I only go because my friends go.” says Jennifer Doyle of Fort Smith, AR. “I know that my cousin, Tim (aka DJ Killa Bass), would love for a chance to play Wakarusa. He’s really good, I think. I’m not really sure but he says he’s the best in Fort Smith!”

We went to Fort Smith to see DJ Killa Bass in action.

“Aww dude yeah Waka is my sh*t. I go every year and just get wild! I love dubstep and trap and know all the hot artists so I could kill it if I got to play! Put in a good word for me, bro!”

Tim then went on to drop the bass at the house party that we attended. 30 drugged out kids were in attendance.

Recent popular names in the United States have been: Sophia, Emma, Olivia, Aiden, Jackson, & Liam.

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